


Remembering Louis

by Angel_Dust



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Doctor Harry, Innocent Louis, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, One-Shot, Past Relationship(s), Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Student Louis, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tears, gay relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-24 09:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4913959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Dust/pseuds/Angel_Dust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Just because you forgot about a memory, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Because it did, whether it was good or bad is irrelevant. You were lucky enough to experience it; which is more than what some people get in this lifetime." </p><p>Or, where Harry is a Memory Suppressor, one of five in the entire world. Louis is a UNI student. And Harry can't see why Louis finds Memory Suppression and Snow so fascinating.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Twitter: @Angelic_Dusty <br/>Youtube: Angelic_Dusty<br/>Tumblr: angelicdusty</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembering Louis

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own One Direction, if I did, Louis would never worry about fake-girlfriends, Harry could have all the Kale he could humanly eat, Liam wouldn't have to lie for that shitty management and Niall could wear that ugly hat all he wanted.

 

 

 

 

 

_"Do you remember what happens each time the snow melts?"_

 

 

 

 

 

Harry opened his eyes slowly. It was dark and quiet, nothing to be heard but his own breathing. He looked around for a light, or something familiar, but he couldn't seem to make out where he was. . . .or who he was. Slowly, he sat up in the some what uncomfortable bed. It felt nice, but the sheets were scratchy and the blanket wasn't much warmth. Harry frowned, blinking a few times. 

 

_Had. . . . had something happened?_

 

One que, he felt a sharp pain thrust into the side of his head and he groaned, gripping some of his hair. God, whatever hit his head, hurt like bitch! Harry soon grew used to the darkness of the room and noticed it was fairly large. He could see some light blue light coming from the bottom of heavily drawn curtains across the room.  _So it must be early,_  he assumed. 

 

There was no carpeting, just tile flooring. The walls were bare, and, now that he could hear without that ringing in his ear, he heard the sound of tiny drops of water falling into a bowl. Across the room there was a tiny Japanese bamboo fountain releasing tiny amounts of water at a time, surrounding the fountain were Kale plants. Harry blinked a few times before sitting up slowly. 

 

He looked at his hands, he was shaking. He didn't know why, and pulled the blankets closer to him. 

 

_What happened? Where am I?_

 

He didn't recognize this place at all. He was starting to get worried about it too. Waking up in an unfamiliar place, was never a good thing. "Hello?" He softly called out, hoping someone would hear him. His plan failed. He turned over on the bed, spotting a small, plastic bottle. He frowned reading the label: 

 

Hand Cream

 

He was confused, even more so. He began to shift off the scratchy bed in favor of standing up. When doing do, the door opened and he had to shield his eyes with his arm from the bright light. He moaned in pain, backing up slightly. 

 

"Shut the door." A female's voice commanded, when the door was shut, Harry lowered his arm and blinked a few times before looking up at the woman before him. She was very pretty, with long brownish hair and green eyes. "Do you know who you are?" She asked, almost worried. 

 

Harry bit his lip.  _What. . .what was my name again?_

 

"Do you know your name, yes or no?" 

 

"Y-yes." Harry nodded, "Ha-Harold?" It sounded failure. "Harold Edmund Steerrrls" The woman bites her lip as to refrain from laughing. 

 

"Close, but not quiet. Your name is Harry Edward Styles." Harry thinks for a moment before nodding. She was right. "Yes. How did you know that?" The woman sits down on the bed and Harry sits next to her. 

 

"Do you remember me?"  The woman is patient and a part of her wants to reach out and pull the man close to her so she can hold him. She feels a lump in her throat as she waits. Gemma hopes Harry will answer this question correctly. She'd kill herself if he forgot about her. 

 

". . . .Gemma?" Harry asks. Gemma nods. "Yes, Harry." 

 

More memories come after remembering his sister, such as his Mum, Dad, and a few friends.  _Okay, now he knows who he is, this is a start._  Gemma bites her lip. "How do you feel?" Harry takes forever to come up with an answer for that question, but Gemma doesn't mind, it's normal for something like this to happen. 

 

"Like. . . Like I've been ran over by a truck. What happened to me?" 

 

Gemma won't answer that. "You're sick, Harry. Fell really ill."  She wishes that was the truth. Harry had never been the one to stop working, even if it made him sick, so he was sure that he ended up hospitalized because of it. He believed his sister. 

 

"Wha. . .what do I got?" He asks, thanking her for the aspirin and cup of water she gives him. 

 

"A high fever, on start of the flu and a massive headache, I'm assuming. Just rest for now. I'll be back to check up on you later." Gemma states, standing up. "Don't leave this bed." 

 

Harry nodded, laying back down. Gemma wants to tell him what really happened. The real reason why he's in the private hospital room. She quickly leaves the room. And her heart goes out to her poor, poor little brother. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Eight Months Earlier. . . .**

 

 

In his large Office sat Harry Styles, one of the five people in the world to accomplish Memory Suppression. He was a man of many accomplishments in his twenty-eight years of living. Already Britain's renowned Doctor in Memory Suppression, making himself the most wanted man in the medical field. 

 

It would have been an honor to work with him, not because of his skills, but because he was also a rather attractive man to just watch and found over. 

 

Louis Tomlinson was the lucky student out of 500 to have a chance at this. 

 

 

"Hello, Mr. Styles?" A meek voice called from the doorway. Looking up with his glasses tipping to the end of his nose, Harry Styles gave one glance at the UNI student. It was obvious he was one with his 'UNI class of 2021' sweat shirt on and the key chain with an I.D pass was a dead give away as well. 

 

"I have the right room, correct? If not, then, Oops." The boy laughed, it was soft to Harry's ears. Harry nodded, "Are you Louis Tomlinson?" Harry asked, he had been expecting Louis. 

 

"Yes!" The brunette smiled, pearly white teeth on display for the world to see. "My name is Louis Tomlinson, I'll be your student for the next few weeks." With that, the UNI student put his  _Adidas_  bag on the chair across from Harry, who sat at his desk, folding papers. 

 

"Very well, Louis, It's to my understanding that you are interested in Memory Suppression, before we start I have some rules you must follow-" 

 

"OH! Look, look!" Louis' attention was to the window and Harry sighed. He didn't have time for ditsy students. "Is something wrong?" Harry cocked his eyebrow, not amused. 

 

"No, nothing, I hope," Louis replied, holding his hands behind his back. "It's just. . . It's snowing." Louis' cheeks flushed a tiny shade of pink as he admired the snow falling from the grey sky outside. Harry watched with a dull expression. Did this student just come into his office only to stare out his window? 

 

"Are you quite finished? I have to get going." Harry sighed. He was twenty-nine, and had no time for teenagers. He had patients to attend to. 

 

"Oh, yes!" Louis snapped out of his daze. "Will I be going as well?" 

 

"No." Harry replied, pointing to the stack of paperwork. "I need you to file out all of my medical records I have there and please put them accordingly in the shelves." Louis turned to where the filing cabinets were. "It'll be gone for a few hours. When I return please have this task done, or neer completion." Louis nodded, watching as Harry left him alone in the office. 

 

Louis nervously eyed the stack of papers. There were a lot of them and he didn't know if Harry wanted it by numbers, alphabetical, or by year. He gulped, figuring he'd best start at sorting by letters. 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Please, I beg of you, get rid of them!" A man in his late forties begged at Harry's feet. Harry starred at the man on the ground, pathetically pleading to him. It almost made Harry's stomach churn. A few nurses apologized to Harry, "We're sorry, Mr. Styles. He's been hounding us to see you and he never made an appointment, we've called the police but-"

 

"No need." Harry softly spoke. This wasn't the first time something like this has happened. This man must be either at his breaking point, or something must of just recently occurred. Harry shook his leg and foot away from the man. "Stand up and walk with me." 

 

"Oh, thank you,  _thank you_ , kind sir-"

 

"Don't thank me yet. I'm counting this as an Emergency and have half a mind to double your payment for troubling the nursing staff." 

 

"I don't care, I'll do anything to forget, just, _please make me forget!"_  

 

Harry, the man, followed by two nurses all walked to the elevator taking it to the seventeenth floor where the "Suppression Room." was. It was a special room that was always dark, so light would not intervene with the process. Harry told the nurses to stand outside until he said otherwise. Harry brought the man inside where he sat on one of the two floor pillows. 

 

That is all the room contained. 

 

"Name?" Harry asked, writing on his clip board. 

 

"T-Thomas Hale." 

 

"Mr. Hale, why are you asking for your memories to be erased?" 

 

"I need to forget. . .. to forget. . ." Thomas had trouble speaking as his emotions were about to get the best of him and he began to break down. 

 

"We don't have much time, please tell me why you want-" 

 

"I want to forget my girlfriend. I came home today and she was kissing another a man so passionately!" Thomas sobbed. "She. . .she fell out of love for me and I want to forget, my heart can't take it anymore!" 

 

Harry nodded, Cheating spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends were the most common of his requests. "Very well. I need you to remember her face." 

 

"K-Kaya. . .I can't, I don't want to!" Thomas sobbed. Harry was in no mood. "Thomas, do so now or I won't Suppress your memory." 

 

"Okay-okay, I'm picturing her." Thomas gasped when Harry reached out his hand to grip Thomas' forehead. His Thumb was in one side of his skull while his middle finger occupied the other side. Harry couldn't waste anymore time. "Now, what I want you to do is remember the exact moment you wanted to forget. Then, when you wake up, you won't remember a thing." 

 

Thomas winced, his teeth gritting and his hands gripped into two balls. "I. . . .she. . .. she was so distant from me, I thought she was just sick. . .but. ..Oh God, Kaya! Why?!" 

 

Harry blinked. 

 

"Why did you do this to me?! I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world! I took you to Paris, I even kept my mouth shut when we had dinner with your bitchy mother and didn't complain afterwards, what did I do to deserve this?" Thomas bawled.

 

Harry felt his hand heating up and Thomas screamed. It wasn't that Harry's hand made Thomas feel any Pain, in fact, Thomas, like all the other patients, wouldn't feel a thing. However, whatever Thomas had in his heart, probably hurt him more than Harry's hand ever could.  

 

"K-Kaya. . ." Thomas blubbered. 

 

"Almost done now." Harry spoke and within two second, Thomas dropped to the floor. Any memory of Kaya was erased from his brain. 

 

Harry stood up, crackling his knuckles and excited the room. "Take him to the therapy room on the tenth floor." Harry spoke softly. The nurses did as they were told and Harry was on his way. 

 

 

He had more memories to erase after Thomas'.

 

_"Please, Mr. Styles, let me forget my bad day."_

 

_"Help me forget Christmas, 1983."_

 

_"I want to forget all about my teenage years."_

 

_"Please, please suppress my memories of my ninth wedding."_

 

 

 

Typical day for Dr. Styles. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

It was seven-thirty when Harry came back to his office and the first thing he did was wonder why Louis was still working. "You may leave, Louis. It's getting late." Harry spoke, hanging his doctor's lab coat up. 

 

Louis jumped, a Strawberry Pocky stick stuck in his mouth, making his cheeks puff out slightly. Harry almost smirked. Almost. 

 

"I'm not done yet, sir," Louis replied. "You told me I should leave when I'm done or neer completion." He stated as-a-matter-of-fact. 

 

Harry rubbed his temples. "Yeah, but it's late and I want to get home before there's a storm." 

 

"Oh, but I'm _almost_  done."

 

"Almost?" Harry walked over to the small desk Louis stationed himself at and frowned. The files were all in alphabetical order. Harry took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. "This is not how they're supposed to be filed." 

 

"No?" Louis asked, biting his Pocky. "Um, not to be rude, but you didn't exactly tell me how I'm supposed to file them." Harry wants to smack himself. 

 

"You're training to be an assistant, right?" He asked, Louis nodded. "Rule number one: You never EVER file Memory Files by anything other than the date the memory was suppressed. You told me that you filed them alphabetically, what letter are you on?" 

 

Louis blushed, sinking into the chair farther. ". . . . .H." He replied. 

 

"Come back tomorrow and redo everything. For now, just leave, please." Harry walked back to his desk, searching for his keys when he noticed his lap-top had 'unread' messages. He groaned, looks like he wasn't leaving early like he wanted to. "I'm-I'm sorry, sir, Actually, tomorrow I can't be here, I have classes; I'll do them now-"

 

"No!-" It was too late and when Louis stood up, a stack of papers in his hands went falling to the floor. "Dammit, just go!" Harry shouted. Louis jumped, biting his lip. "I'm.  . . .I'm sorry."

 

Harry sighed, knowing what he did was out of line. "No. . .I'm the one who should apologize. I'm sorry for shouting, Louis. It's just been-" The man was exhausted.

 

"One of 'those' days?" Louis softly chuckled. "I've had more of those than Good Days in my life, I swear. Tell me about it?" Harry was baffled. Why would Louis Tomlinson, some kid who got lucky enough to be tutored by him want to know about his day? The Doctor shut his lap top. "I don't know if that's professional or not-"

 

Louis laughed, "Who cares about formality? Some day, I'll be working along side you!" Harry lost it and allowed himself to give a small chuckle.

 

"Really?"

 

"Don't mock me, I will be the world's best Memory Suppressor ever! Even surpass you." Louis boasted, not seeing Harry's small smile turn sour.  "I'll help people just like you. It's not that I want to be better than you, don't get me wrong, but knowing that I'm being taught by, well, _the best,_  is extraordinary and-"

 

"Why?" Harry interrupted. 

 

"Hmm?" 

 

"Why do you want to be "the best" Louis? Why on Earth did you even choose this profession?" Harry sounded very serious, almost angry and it bothered Louis. The UNI Student bit his bottom lip. 

 

"Well, I know that you help people, and that's why I wanted to become a Memory Suppressor." 

 

"There are other ways to help others, Louis. And don't think you can just become a Memory Suppressor. You need a fine hand, willpower and careful, expert knowledge of this field that takes YEARS to learn. I still learn things every day. Tell me why you want to be in this specific field." 

 

Harry waited for an answer, but didn't quiet get one. "Well, I best be off. You're right, it's getting late and I'll be in tomorrow extra early to get those files sorted." Harry nodded and Louis waved goodbye, leaving quickly. 

 

 

Harry wouldn't be surprised if Louis didn't show up tomorrow. This wasn't the first assistant that he's pushed away. Harry preferred to work alone, not getting attached to anyone or anything. He couldn't remember the last lover, or even friend he's had or tired to make. 

 

In this profession, you can't have friends or loved ones. Because then you get attached to the patient begging you to suppress their memory and that's not good. 

 

Harry sighs, folding his hands together and resting his head. He looks out his window to see the snow still falling. The Weather Man said they'd gain a few inches later tonight and some tomorrow. The thought of snow makes him cold as he shivers and decides to call it a night. 

 

 He's just about to leave when his office phone rings. He sighed, answering. "H'ullo?"

 

 _"Tired, huh?"_ A soft laugh on the other line makes him want to roll his eyes. "What do you want Gemma?" 

 

_"Reading your personal file like a good big sister I am. Who's Louis Tomlinson?"_

 

"Some kid from the UNI not farm from the hospital. Won some school contest to work beside me, I guess. Why?" 

 

 _"No reason, he's such a cutie. You sound annoyed, he do something funny? Embarrass you?"_ Lord, how Gemma loves to ruin his day with non-stop questions. 

 

"No. He's just some air-head kid who can't file right," Harry mumbled into the receiver. "Why are you calling me? You're bothering me." 

 

 _"Aw, ruining my precious little brother's sleep? Not like I haven't before."_ Harry wants to slam the phone down and he's half tempted. _"Hey. . . .keep an eye out for Zayn."_

 

"Malik? The Suppressor from Bradford?" 

 

_"Yeah. He's coming to the hospital because we're suspecting something is wrong with his mental and emotional health and just want to keep him here for observation. We're not lying when we tell him we want to evaluate his practice, but we're also keeping a very, very close eye on his health.  You know how it gets."_

 

Harry did. Memory Suppressors can't (no matter how hard it gets) connect emotionally with their patients. It wasn't hard for Harry, but for other doctors, not so much. Many Memory Suppressors have reached the brink of insanity because of their practice. 

 

 

The things people would want to forget is really sickening. 

 

 

"What does this have to do with me?" Harry sighed.

 

 _"He's coming next week. And he'll be working along side you. Think of it as just a normal day, but with Zayn."_ Gemma replied. Harry nodded, "Okay. Hey, how long am I stuck with that Louis kid?"

 

Gemma laughed, _"sick of him after only one day?"_

 

"No. . . I just. . ." Harry bit his lip. "Never mind. Goodnight, Gemma."

 

"Night Harry, take it easy."  

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"Good morning, Mr. Styles!" Louis smiled, handing Harry a cup. Harry cocks his eyebrow and Louis explains that it's tea. Harry thanks him, opening the office door. 

 

"You didn't have to do that for me." Harry mumbles, sipping the tea. He wasn't a big tea drinker in the mornings, but he stayed quiet as Louis explained that it was best of have a hot beverage first thing in the morning now that it was getting colder outside. 

 

"I hope it snows again today." Louis breathes lonlingly, looking out the window with half-lidded eyes and a found smile. 

 

"Well, you can look out the window all you want, just so you get this paperwork re-sorted," Harry somewhat harshly reminded. Louis nodded, cracking his knuckles. "You got it, Mr. Styles! If I wanna' be the best, then I'll do whatever you tell me."  Louis appeared to be 'pumped up and ready to work' which Harry rolled his eyes at while he went to perform more Suppression. The UNI student wanted Harry to at least like him, so he worked really hard at re-sorting and filing the cabinets, putting everything to where it belonged by the date of the Memory Erase, just like what Harry said. 

 

Louis couldn't help but think back to what Harry said last night. 

 

 

_"Tell me why you want to be in this specific field."_

 

 

Truth be told, Louis didn't know why he wanted to be in the Memory Suppression field, something just called him to it. He shook his head and continued to sort out the papers. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"Mr. Styles? Your ten-thirty appointment is here." A cheery voice rang through the intercom downstairs where Harry, dressed in his lab coat and hair tied up, was talking to some fellow doctors. 

 

"Excuse me." Harry turned, walking away to the Suppression Room. He began to put on some gloves when he spotted two nurses outside the room. Which was odd, because normally Harry brings the patients too the room. "Already inside?" He asked, they nodded and he entered the dark room. 

 

Sitting on the pillow was a woman. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and sipped it gingerly. What was most noticeable was her large stomach that housed an unborn child.  Harry looked at his sheet, using the light from the doorway. 

 

"Briana Jungwirth?" He asked.

 

The woman, Briana, nodded. Harry stepped forward, the door shutting behind him. "And what memories are you suppressing today?" Harry asked. 

 

"None at the moment, I actually. . . need some time to think about it. May we reschedule?" She asked, softly, almost monotone. Harry sighed, "It'll cost an extra charge for a delay." He spoke. 

 

"That's fine, I have money." 

 

"Very well, when you're ready the nurses will take you out." 

 

"Thank you." She sips her coffee some more and Harry leaves the room. 

 

 

 

Never, in his entire career, has he had someone reschedule a Memory Erase. Granted, he's had people back out at the last minute, but never just suddenly ask for a later date. That was a first for him. 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was one-thirty when Louis finished and was eating his sack lunch.

 

 _Man, when's Harry coming back?_ He wondered. He almost missed the doctor. Harry had been gone a long time and Louis was bummed out. He had hoped that the doctor would  show him around the hospital at the bare minimum. Biting into his baby carrots he smirked. _Dr. Styles is such a hard-ass, he sounds like someone who never has any fun_. 

 

Louis frowned. Maybe his job is so demanding that he can't have any fun. He assumed. Speaking of which-apparently his job made it so he couldn't clean his own office! He was pretty sure Harry wasn't a slob, but would it kill the doctor to at least dust the place? He frowned, leaving the office to find a janitor's closet. "I mean, he's a doctor, you'd think he'd be all about hygiene and personal  health." Louis mumbled as he swiped some Swiffer cloths and a dust pan and went to work on cleaning the room. 

 

Every nook and cranny was cleaned, just for his boss. Louis smiled; what he was doing could be considered as Ass-kissing, but the way he thought of it was helping someone and he didn't mind, he had nothing else better to do anyway. He started on some homework when he heard the door open then close. 

 

 Harry is stunned as he stands in the doorway of his office. Louis stands before him, grinning as he puts away the last of the papers in the filing cabinet. Harry looks around, his office is no longer cluttered with papers and it looks like an actual office, it even smells better in here thanks to the Glade candle plug-in. 

 

"How do you like it?" Louis rocked on his feet. Harry hadn't said anything so Louis continued. "I remembered you telling me how stressed out you were last night and I figured this would be a nice thing for you to come back to, don't you agree? Isn't a clean office nice to work in?" 

 

Harry is speechless. 

 

"Bet you're wondering why I did this, well, I think we might have gotten off on the wrong foot. You see, I like being under your watch Dr. Styles. I like your practice and I want to learn more. . . " Louis smiled, sweetly. "and maybe. . .maybe we got off on the wrong foot yesterday." 

 

Louis held out his hand. "So, let's meet again. Only better this time. Hello, I'm Louis Tomlinson. It's nice to meet you, Dr. Styles!" 

 

Harry didn't know what to do. _This kid is nuts!_ He almost blurted, biting his tongue. Louis only hums as he rolls on the balls of his feet. "So. . .seeing as I was such a _good boy_. . ." Harry almost shutters at how slurry Louis says: 'good boy' "I was hoping that you'd give me a tour of the building at least. Don't I deserve at least that?" 

 

God, how Louis sounded so innocent! "Fine." Harry sighed, making Louis clap his hands in joy. "But, quickly. I still have patients today." Louis nodded and followed Harry. Harry showed him the nurse's station, filing room (which Harry reminded the smaller boy: it would be very important for him to get better acquainted with) and, lastly, Harry took him to the seventeenth floor.

 

"This floor has one room and one room only. The Suppression room." Harry spoke, opening the door to the pitch black room."

 

"Why is it dark?" Louis asked.

 

"To protect any outside objects and persons. When you Suppress a memory, Louis, you cause a blinding light. I can't be affected by it, why, I don't really understand, but from horrific experience, we've lost nurses and other doctors because of the light, so it's best this room stays dark and no one else is inside the room but either myself and the patient." Harry spoke, closing the door.

 

"Is that all?" Louis asked, "Tour done?"

 

"Tour done." Harry nodded, monotone. He began to walk away when Louis called back for him. "Hey, I know this might be a bit improper, but me and a few friends were going out for drinks later tonight. I was wondering if you'd like to come with us, Harry."

 

The Doctor feels his chest tighten. "No thank you." He speaks harsher than he intended to be. Louis only nods, but Harry still sees the sadness in the cerulean eyes.

 

"Oh, I see. . .maybe next time then."  

 

 

 

It was nothing personal against Louis. Harry wants to tell, but he can't. Because telling Louis his problems will make him become attached; and being attached to someone, is dangerous. 

 

 

It's an awkward walk back to Harry's office but it's almost forgotten about when Louis squeals with jo. "Oh! Look, look, it's snowing!" Louis rushes to the window, standing with his arms behind his back. "The forecast said it wasn't going to snow today but look at it now." 

 

Harry stands, curious, and almost sad. It's just snow. 

 

Harry strolls over next to Louis, looking out the window himself, watching the cold flakes fall from the dark grey sky above them. 

 

"Hey, I have a question to ask:" Louis smiles. ""Do you remember what happens each time the snow melts?" 

 

"It becomes water." Harry blankly replied. 

 

"Nope!" Louis' hair bounced as he turned to the tall Doctor. "It becomes spring." and he beams. Harry hears his heartbeat in his ears as the smaller boy admires the snowfall. 

 

 

 

It was a weird question to ask: 'What happens when the snow melts?'. Followed by such a ridiculous answer; 'Spring'. 

 

 

But, the boy wasn't wrong. 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"My 'new assistant' is weird." Harry mumbled into the phone late that night. "He talked about how he wanted to tour the hospital and that snow turns into spring when it melts." 

 

Gemma laughed at the other end. _"aw, he sounds like a doll to be around all day."_

 

"Not really. He's just another dumb UNI kid trying to impress some people, wanting to be better than me at Suppression, said so himself." 

 

 _"Aaaw, Harry, that's no reason to be jealous, he's just admiring you. You're probably his hero."_ Of course his big sister would enjoy his pain and suffering.

 

"Not to mention he leaned my office while I was gone."

 

 _"Okay you little shit, I've got nurses and doctors flirting with each other, assistants who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, on top of everything I'm missing my family all the way out here in Manchester, tell me how you have it so hard."_ Gemma's sassy voice rang in Harry's ear.

 

"It's just-"

 

_"No excuse, you little punk!"_

 

"It's weird. . . I've never. . .actually had anyone in my life. . .like that." Harry's voice trailed off as he starred at his shoes. Never has he met anyone as bubbly, friendly and so gentle as Louis. The humanity Harry comes into contact with are all so-

 

_"Well, don't worry. If you don't like him, he'll be out of your hair within a week. In the mean time, show him what you do."_

 

"What?"

 

 _"Take him through a 'day in a life of Dr. Styles' he'll like that,"_ Gemma boosted. Harry rolled his eyes. He was _not_ having some teenager following him around all day, he'd go nuts. _"Look, I'm looking at his school record right now and he's taking Health, Psychology, and a few medical classes."_

 

"How are you looking at his school record?"

 

 _"I know people."_ Was the only answer he got before Gemma continued. " _I think you have the real-deal, no-nonsense type of guy on your hands Harry, who knows, maybe under your training, he'll be just like you."_

 

 

 _That's what I'm afraid of._ "Gemma, you know how busy I am-" 

 

 

_"Harry, com'on. How bad is it really? All he's doing is observing."_

 

Harry sighed, "Fine. But only for tomorrow."

 

 _"You'll make his day, Harry. By the way-"_ Her voice went from playful to serious. _"The hospital in Bradford changed their minds about Zayn coming next week, he's arriving tomorrow ."_ Harry's eyes widened. "T-tomorrow?" 

 

_"He's not well, Harry. They assume he's getting worse. Keep an eye out for him."_

 

"I will. What time is he coming in?"  

 

_"Nine thirty in the morning-hey introduce Louis to him! I'm sure Louis would love to meet another Memory Suppressor."_

 

Harry sighed, "I'll have to anyway. Anything else you need Gemma?" 

 

_"Yeah, how are you?"_

 

"m'fine, ready to hang up and go home." 

 

_"No Harry, you know that's not why I asked you."_

 

Harry is silent before Gemma wished him goodnight. Harry sat in the silence of his office for a few moment before turning to the window. The night was dark, but the street lights showed the snow glimmering down from the sky. Standing up slowly, Harry walked to the window. 

 

His thoughts trailed back to the meek voice of Louis, asking him that question earlier:

 

 

_""Do you remember what happens each time the snow melts?"_

 

 

Spring. 

 

Why would the answer be Spring? Of course when snow melts it becomes water, but Spring was the correct answer too, right? Harry frowned, why was he almost intrigued by this? He was confused. Such a question should really bother him, but it did. Could it be of the boy's innocence, or maybe something else? 

 

Harry looked down and squinted his eyes. 

 

There was someone dancing in the street, making footprints in the snow. 

 

"What the. . .?" 

 

Rushing as quickly as he could downstairs while tightening his black peacoat, Harry opened the front doors of the hospital, watching the person he recognized as Louis. He could tell it was him by the way the Adidas gym bag fell off his tiny shoulders because he was swinging around, face in the air with his mouth open, catching bitter-cold snowflakes on his teeth. Harry watched in confusion as the boy continued to dance around in the street without a care in the world. By the expression of absolute happiness on Louis' face, Harry guessed Louis was one of the lucky ones in life who had no troubles or worries. 

 

What was most intriguing about Louis, was not of him dancing and spinning around, but the way he reached out his arms and glove-less hands towards the sky, as if reaching for something far greater than what this world had to offer.

 

 

Harry's lips cracked at the edge for form a minuscule smile at the boy dancing around. That is, until Louis came across a patch of ice and slipped, falling on the hard ground. Harry almost ran to help him. Almost. However, he couldn't, because running to help Louis would progress to caring for Louis, and if he cared about Louis, then all hell would break loose. Instead, he stilled, ready to call for a nurse. He watched as Louis whimpered, shakingly standing back up. He noticed how Louis looked at his hands before the boy shoved them in his pocket and scurried away from the street and out of sight. 

 

The Doctor felt colder than the night's breeze. 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

"Are your hands alright?" Was the first thing Harry asked the next morning. He couldn't help it, Louis was sitting at the tiny table by the window supposingly doing his homework. But Harry knew why he was being quiet. 

 

"Oh? Um, yeah, I uh-I fell on the ice last night," Louis chuckled. "Stupid me." 

 

Harry bit his lip. "Well, are you okay?" 

 

"Yea'm'fine." Louis rushed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "How about you? You cool?" Louis smiled. "Yeah, I'm alright." _I need to get this kid away from me._ Harry glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing it was nearing nine-thirty. The Doctor stood up. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to meet someone." 

 

"Who?"

 

"How many doctors that perform Memory Suppression are there in the world, Louis?" 

 

Louis thought for a moment. "Well, there's Niall Horan, from Ireland; Liam Payne, from Wolverhampton. Then you and your Sister, Gemma Styles, and then Zayn Malik from Bradford." 

 

Harry smirked. "You're going to meet one of those worldly known doctors, too." Louis gasped, looking like a kid who got the toy he wanted from Santa on Christmas. "Really?!" 

 

"Yes. You're going to meet Zayn Malik, but I must warn you-" Harry waited until he saw that Louis calmed down. "He's very ill at the moment. Mentally and emotionally."

 

Louis frowned. "W-why? What happened?"

 

"I don't know personally. But I'm under order to watch him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." Harry replied, opening the door. "Stupid? How so?" Louis asked.

 

Harry sighed. How could he put this lightly? "Zayn is showing all the signs." He replied, simply. 

 

"S-s-signs?" Louis cocked his eyebrow, clearly lost. 

 

"Louis. . . did you know that Memory Suppressors can't erase their own memories?" Harry asked as they took the elevator. Louis blinked. "No. I didn't." Harry continued. "Well, actually we _can_ , but it comes at a cost. If a Memory Suppressor erases his or her memory, not only do they loose that one particular memory, but all memories-even the ability to Suppress." 

 

Louis paled. 

 

"This isn't a crime or anything. But it's not taken lightly either. We're down to only five of us Memory Suppressors in the world and my job is very hectic because of it, as well is my sister's and the other three. You see Louis, I don't understand why you would ever want to be a Memory suppressor." Harry turned to look at Louis dead in the eyes. "You say you 'want to help people' but what good is it? I'm not telling you to give up on your dream, but what are you really helping them by making them forget? It's not like the problem will go away."

 

The UNI student licked his lips.

 

"And it's not like whatever happened didn't happen. Because it did and nothing, not even memory suppression, will change that." 

 

Louis was about to open his mouth to speak, but the doors opened and he followed Harry to the front entrance of the hospital where a man dressed just like Harry stood with a woman who looked to be in her early forties. Harry held his hand out to shake. "Zayn Malik, right?" Harry had only met Zayn twice in his life, one was at some important meeting and the other he actually ran into him at the hospital while visiting his sister in Manchester. 

 

"Yes. You're Harry Styles, correct?"

 

"Yes, I am."

 

"And I'm Louis Tomlinson!" Louis beamed. 

 

"Be quiet." Harry narrowed his eyes, fully embarrassed that Louis had just blurted like that. Louis squeaked, making Zayn chuckle. 

 

"I'm Trisha." The woman smiled sweetly. "Zayn, are you ready or-?"

 

"I'll be okay." He assured her, kissing her forehead. Trisha nodded slowly, her face crumpling, it didn't take much to know she was about to cry. "Get better, baby. Please." Zayn held her tightly with his one arm, while the other held a travel bag. "Promise me, promise me." 

 

Louis frowned. What was going on? Harry called for some nurses to take Zayn's bag before the trio left for the Seventh floor aka: 'the recovery center' Louis bit his lip, following Dr. Styles and Dr. Malik to the bright room with the curtains open, revealing the sunshine from outside. "Dinner is at five normally for patients, but I could order you something if you're hungry now." Harry offered. 

 

"No thank you, I ate before I came." Damn, Zayn was a horrible liar. Harry didn't pester him however. "Very well. And you do know why you're here, correct?"

 

"I know." Zayn began to unpack his things. "Just. . . needed a change in scenery." 

 

Harry said nothing more, not wanting to continue this conversation with Louis in the room. "Very well. I'll be back to check on you later. . . by the way the room is video monitored, so don't even try anything." Zayn nodded slowly, continuing to unpack while Louis had confusion drawn all over his face. He followed Harry out of the room. "What was that about?" He asked. "Is something wrong with Dr. Malik?" 

 

Harry didn't answer.

 

"Will he be okay?" 

 

The Doctor hoped so. 

 

 

"Louis, I have some patients today. I need to get to work-"

 

"Oh, may I see? Please, just this one time, Mr. Styles?" Louis begged, jumping a bit like an excited child being told he's going to Disneyland. "Just one?" 

 

"I don't know, it's not safe for two people to be in the room. . . " Well, it was and it wasn't. Louis just had to turn away before Harry erased the memory. 

 

_"Please?"_

 

The Doctor sighed and Louis knew he had won. "Terrific! Who's memory are you erasing today?" He asked. Harry glanced at his clip board.  "A man from London is coming today." 

 

"Do you always know when they're coming?"

 

"No, not always. You normally have to make an appointment months in advance. However, in cases of an Emergency, we just double the amount owed." Harry answered, walking to the elevator. Louis frowned, "I don't think that's fair. I mean, it's urgent, they shouldn't have to pay extra." 

 

"They're cutting in line and if we lowered the price, then EVERYONE would have an 'emergency' and that's not fair to people who've paid in advance." 

 

"Well, you could make a stop to the payments a few months ahead and give everyone a head's up. And you wouldn't have to worry about being sued because you've done your job already, there's nothing the Plaintiff can do." Louis' kitten smile cracked on his lips. Harry frowned, "Be quiet." Clearly annoyed a simple UNI student just out-smarted him and clearly Louis could see that.

 

"Aw, don't be bashful, It's just an idea."

 

Harry sighed, "I'll speak to someone about that." He rolled his eyes before the elevator doors opened to floor Seventeen. "Alright. I never allow this, but since you haven't been as annoying-" Louis smirked-"I'll grant you permittion to be inside the room as I erase the memory. I just have one rule: When I tell you to turn, you turn away, understand?" Harry firmly commanded. 

 

"Yes. Dr. Styles." Louis nodded. 

 

Together, Louis and Harry approached the door where two nurses stood waiting. "Who are they?" Louis whispered. 

 

"They come get the patient and take them to the recovery ward." 

 

"How long does it take to recover?" 

 

"A few weeks, depends on how deep the memory is buried. I've seen it take longer, the most I think was maybe six months." 

 

"But-" 

 

Harry cut him off by opening the door and entering the dark room. Louis blinked a few times before following Harry, who told him to stand by the wall away from the patient. The patient, Louis noted, was an old man. Even in the darkest room, you could see the sadness and the complete exhaustion on the wrinkled face. 

 

"How are you, sir?" Harry asked, softly. 

 

"m'sick. . . . I'm tired. And I hate it." Came the sleepy response. 

 

"I'm sorry to hear that. What will I be erasing today?" 

 

"I want to forget that awful war. I just. . . . want to not remember a thing." 

 

"Your name?" Harry asked. 

 

"Theodore Smith." 

 

"Very well, Mr. Smith. I need you to gather up everything as much as you can and do nothing but remember." The Doctor spoke, putting his hand to Mr. Smith's face, thumb on one side of his head and middle finger on the other. Harry then turned to Louis.  "Always ask the patient to recall as much of the memory as they can. It makes it easier for us Suppressors, and lows the risk of the patient to have any triggers that might bring the memories back." 

 

Louis nodded. 

 

"Now, turn around, Louis." Louis did so, facing the wall and he dare didn't turn around until Harry said something. "Mr. Smith, I'm going to Erase your memory now. When you wake up, you will not remember a thing." 

 

Although Louis didn't see the light directly, he could tell the room had lit up by the shadows on the wall. The light luminated for a few minutes before there was a small 'thud' and Harry deemed it was safe for Louis to turn. Louis slowly arched his body to the side, watching the two nurses he saw earlier help the man into a wheelchair to be taken away. 

 

"That's it?" Louis asked. 

 

"That's it." 

 

"But-but Harry, what if he remembers?" 

 

"There's only a four percent chance that anyone does remember their memory, Louis. It's very rare, almost non-existent." Harry replied. "However, if it should happen, then it's up to the patient if they want to 'forget' again." 

 

"Oh. . .well. . .I'm glad that man's memories were taken from him." 

 

"Why do you say that?" Harry asked, curious. 

 

"Well, Louis bit his lip, walking to the light of the door way, standing in front of Harry. "I mean, it's not my business. But I'm sure that man has lost a lot of friends, maybe even family. He's also probably seen some horrific things as well. Maybe it's for the best that he forgets." Louis' quiet reply came. 

 

The Doctor nodded and began to walk down the hallway, Louis following him. "Um, Dr. Styles?" 

 

"Yes?"

 

"Do. . . .you. . .ever regret Suppressing someone's memories? Like, do you ever go home and think 'maybe I shouldn't have done that'?" 

 

"It's not my decision whether someone forgets, Louis. I just erase the memory." If Harry were to ever put his feelings towards his practice, he'd go mad. _Sort of like Zayn._ Harry frowned. He was almost furious that Zayn was doing this to himself; Zayn knew the consequences and yet he went straight forward. 

 

_The idiot. . . ._

 

"I want to live with all my memories." Louis stated, confidence very much bold in his world. "Even if they're bad memories, I want them all. "

 

Harry snorts, "Even the bad ones?"

 

"Especially the bad ones. While they might make me feel sad, and dare I say cry, it's the bad memories that make me wise and see the truth." 

 

The UNI student grinned, flashing Harry his pearly white teeth and Harry found it hard to ignore the twinge in his heart. There was something about Louis, his aurora, that made people flock to him. Harry turned abruptly. "You should go home, Louis." He sternly spoke. 

 

"But I just got here and-"

 

"You've gotten what you've begged for, just go home!" Harry almost shouted, taking the elevator. He had to get away from Louis.

 

'Well hey!" Louis groaned as soon as the doors to the elevator shut. "Damn you Harry!" Why his teacher was acting like such an ass was beyond him. Louis waited until the elevator came to the seventeenth floor. While debating on going home, he smirked as he clicked on number '7'

 

He wanted to meet Dr. Malik more. And it wasn't so he could say he got to 'hang out with Dr. Zayn Malik from Bradford' but, he was very curious as to why the Doctor was on the recovery ward. Quietly, as to not disturb any other patients who might be sleeping, Louis walked down the hallway, relying on his memory to find Zayn's room. He knocked before he was given permission to enter.

 

"Hello, Dr. Malik. How are you feeling?" Louis asked, softly. 

 

"Tomlinson, right?" Zayn asked. Louis nodded, "Just call me Louis." 

 

"Have a seat, Louis." Louis did, right across from Zayn in the chair next to the bed. "Are you well? Do you need anything?" Louis offered. 

 

"Did he send you in to spy on me?" 

 

Louis arched an eyebrow, "Who? Harry? No. He didn't. I came on my own free will. It's not every day I get to be with not one but two Memory Suppressors. I'm a big fan of your work." Louis smiled. 

 

Zayn gave a kind smile back before making a sassy remark. "Oh? So you like taking away people's memories?"

 

"Hm?" 

 

"You get some satisfaction out of being told what to do, even if you're against it, and ripping away someone's right?" It sounded as if Louis had hit a nerve with Zayn. He didn't mean to. 

 

"I. . .that's not what I was implying. I'm sorry to have offended you." Louis was quick to apologize and he meant every word. Zayn's face softened. 

 

"No. . . I'm the one who should apologize." He whispered. "I let my anger get the best of me. It happens to every Memory Suppressor. I bet you money that if you were to talk to each and every one of them, you'll see that they have very short tempers and are very touchy when you talk about their practice." 

 

Louis smirked, Yeah, Dr. Styles is like that a lot. 

 

Zayn gazed at the wrinkles in his bed sheets and Louis noticed the plate of food untouched on the tableside. "Are you going to eat?" 

 

"Not hungry for that." 

 

"Oh. . . " Louis smirked, "How about something else then? Maybe some pizza?" 

 

Zayn blinked. 

 

 

Within twenty-minutes, Louis came running back into the room with a pepperoni carry-out pizza from three blocks away. "Sorry I'm late, almost slipped on some ice," He chuckled, "I hope I got what you like." 

 

 

"Why are you wanting to be a Memory Suppressor, Louis?" Zayn asked. "What inspires you to become such sort of thing?"

 

Louis smiled. "I like helping people. And I find something very intriguing about Memories that I just can't shake off. I want to heal the sick."

 

Zayn barked a laugh. "That's the same thing I said when I became one. Now look at me." Louis didn't want to ask directly, but he was curious as to why Zayn was in the hospital at all. 

 

"Um, Dr. Malik? Why are you-"

 

"I tried to Suppress my own memories." Zayn answered quickly. "I wanted to erase my memory on Memory Suppression and how I can do it, so I wouldn't' have to do it anymore." Louis bit his lip, nervously biting into his food. "But. . . .why? You have so many people who look for your help and I witnessed something today that was really remarkable-"

 

"You may have seen the lighter side to the practice, Louis. . . .but how about the darker area?" 

 

 

Louis was confused. "What do you mean?"

 

 

"Harry hadn't told you, has he? Cruel bastard, init'he?" Zayn pushed his pizza slice to the side with the rest of the cold hospital food. "Has Harry ever told you stories about women and men who cheat on their spouses and their lover finds out and BEGS us to help him or her forget that one person?"

 

"Well. . . no, but-"

 

"How about family members who want to forget one of their own, be it a mother, a father, a brother, sister or even their _own children!"_

 

Louis was quiet. 

 

"The worst of it all, is they plead to us for mercy. As if it's their dying wish: To forget someone. There is no memory in this world that can ever truly be forgotten, because IT HAPPENED. Just because you can't remember it, doesn't mean it never occurred." 

 

 

The UNI student slightly trembled in his seat. 

 

"And what of us Doctors? What about our opinions? Our morals? Our choices? We have none! Do you think you'll be happy doing that for the rest of your life? It's made me almost go bloody mad!" Zayn looked like he was going to break down. "Dammit!" Louis quickly stood up, not knowing if he needed to get a nurse or not. 

 

"I. . .I fucking hate my life!" Zayn was sobbing. "I hate having this ability! I hate knowing how many spiteful assholes there are in this world, they took away my Perrie! I can't take it!" 

 

 _Perrie?_ Louis wondered. That is, until he gasped, seeing Zayn reaching for his face. "NO!" Louis cried, gripping that man's wrist. "Dr. Malik-please don't do this! HELP! SOMEONE!" 

 

"And why the fuck not?! They've taken everything from me already!" Zayn screamed, hot tears rolling down his face. "They took her away from me and there wasn't anything I could do about it! They don't care about me, they just want the power I possess. So why the FUCK you'd want to be in this profession baffles the fuck out of me!" 

 

"Zayn. . . " Louis loosened his grip when Zayn lowered his arm. "You. . . you just said there's not such thing a memory that can be forgotten," Louis knew he had to be careful with his words, or Zayn might have another outburst. "And. . . and you also said how you couldn't believe people would want to forget their lover, well. . . if you loved Perrie, then you wouldn't want to forget her, Zayn. You can't erase your memories."

 

Louis cried. "You can't forget Perrie."

 

 

Zayn was speechless. He opened his mouth to speak when someone shouted: _"What is going on here?!"_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_"You're. . . you're so cold, Harry! Cold like the snow!"_

 

_Bitterness._

_And rejected at just Thirteen._

_At the time Harry could remember, whenever he or Gemma were around, at whoever's orders they were to suppress memories. Even though Harry knew it would hurt someone, mainly his mother at the time, he knew he had to do it. So when she called him cold, she wasn't technically lying._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Harry frowned, waking up on his Office sofa. He had taken an asthma treatment along with a short nap to recover from the tightness he felt earlier in his chest. Harry sat up slowly, looking out the window, the sun had set and the sky was a dark purple with a faint pink far off into the distance. 

 

 _Is it really this late?_ He thought, looking at his clock, reading _4:45_. 

 

He figured now was the best time to check up on Zayn. He was down the hallway when he heard shouting and he quickened his pace to a run to Zayn's room. "What is going on here!?" He shouted, Louis jumped and Zayn looked like he had just went through some hysterics. 

 

Harry glared at Louis. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you to leave!" 

 

Louis frowned, "I. . .I was worried about Dr. Malik. I wanted to make sure he was okay." Harry went to argue, but Zayn cut him off. "It's okay, Harry. He. . .he helped me. Thank you Louis. You should go, though.'

 

"B-but!-"

 

"Go, Louis!"

 

Louis scurried out of the room, not wanting to piss of Dr. Styles anymore. After a moment's silence, Zayn spoke up. "You didn't have to shout at him." The Doctor mumbled, lighting up a cigarette. 

 

"What in God's name were you thinking? Suppressing your own memory in _a lit_ room with _someone else_ inside? You could have more than mentally harmed the boy, you idiot!" Harry screamed, smacking the cigarette out of Zayn's hand. "You could have erased HIS memories as well, you of all people should know how fucking dangerous that was!" 

 

Zayn watched the light in Harry's eyes fire up like a tiger. There was a firm tone in Harry's words as he shouted at Zayn. Not once did the doctor mention Zayn's wellbeing, but rather Louis'. Zayn smirked. 

 

"Why so worried about the kid? He's annoying, just your pupil, don't you want to get rid of him?" 

 

Harry stopped talking, shutting his mouth. Before leaving, he warned Zayn about Suppressing his memories: "If I find out you did, I'll kick your ass, Malik!" Zayn did nothing but shrug, watching as Harry walked away. 

 

 _He's changing_ , Zayn noted. _And it's killing him._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After Zayn's attempted Memory Suppression, Harry had more nurses ward the room. Harry was in his office sorting papers when Louis arrived, holding two cups of coffee. "Hi, Dr. Styles. This is a 'I'm sorry' for yesterday." Harry looked up, taking the coffee cup. 

 

"Thank you." Harry mumbled, liking the way the hot cup felt on his shaking fingers. It was pretty chilly in his office. Harry watched Louis pull out his textbooks and begin reading. He sighed, "I hope you're not using this time to study for school when you should be using it to study for-"

 

"Hey! It's snowing again!" Louis cheered. 

 

Harry sighed. What the hell is wrong with this kid? "I hope you don't have ADD, or anything, that's not good to have if you're going to be a Memory Suppressor." 

 

"So. . . .you really think I can become one?" Louis asked, innocent eyes wide and a smile on his face. Harry nearly choked. "I- I mean. . . I never said you couldn't but-"

 

"You think I can be one?! That's awesome!" The UNI student sounded as if he were on cloud nine, and he was. His superior just told him he could be a Memory Suppressor some day. That would make anyone happy. "I mean, I take back what I say-I won't be as good as you, but I hope to someday be as good! I can't wait to call my Mum and tell her this, oh, she and my sisters will be so happy-"

 

While Louis rambled on, Harry couldn't help but be awestruck. All he did was compliment the boy, yet it was enough to send Louis into a blushing fan-boy that made Harry smirk. 

 

"Oh! Speaking of which, are you free next week?" Louis asked.

 

"Huh?" Harry paused. 

 

"Well, next week is Christmas Break. Did you forget?" Louis asked. Harry had. Days, weeks and months had seemed to drag on last few years. Truthfully, Harry had no plans for Christmas. He knew Gemma was leaving for America with her foreign boyfriend and he had no intention on seeing his parents. "I. . .I uh-"

 

"Oh, are you busy?" Louis assumed. 

 

"No-no, it's just. . . you're my student, temporary-assistant. Nothing more. I don't think it's proper." Harry replied, going back to his work. There was silence before Louis spoke up again. " _Technically_. But, aren't you also my friend?" 

 

Slowly, Harry looked up, getting the picture perfect view that was Louis Tomlinson. The sunlight beaming into the room gave the boy a warm aurora and his eyes dazzled. "And. . .you haven't quiet apologized for shouting at me, and I'd say that wasn't proper, but you still did it." 

 

Harry scowled. _Damn brat._

 

"It's just dinner. I'd like for you to meet my family. My Mum misses me and since I've mentioned you, she'd like to meet "the man that gave her son a job" maybe you can explain it to her that it's just a school drawing and I was just lucky?" Louis meekly asked, poking his fingers together. 

 

 

". . . .do I have a choice?" 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 _It's just dinner, just a simple get-together._ Harry repeated to himself. He froze his ass off walking from his car to the townhouse, hoping he was at the right place. Louis' handwriting was small and slightly smudged. Looking at the house, it looked cozy, Christmas lights were poorly strung up around the gutters and looked to be thrown on the bushes with little to no care. 

 

They looked brightly lit, but with not much effort. Harry hurried to the door, knocking and shivering. He waited until a little girl with bright blue eyes opened the door. 

 

"Hey." Harry spoke first. 

 

The little girl screamed loudly and Harry jumped back; what the fuck? The girl continued screaming until the sound of racing footsteps came. The girl was swept off the floor and held close to Louis' chest. "Heh, heh, sorry 'bout that. She's scared of strangers." Louis apologized. "See, Phoebe, nothing to be scared of. This is Dr. Styles. He's nice. . . when he wants to be." Louis smirked, whispering that last part to Harry. 

 

Harry frowned but gave a soft smile to Phoebe. "Hi."

 

Phoebe dug her face into Louis' shoulder, ignoring Harry. "Sorry, she's really shy. Hey, come in, I'll bet you're freezing." Louis stepped aside to let Harry inside and Harry began to take off his coat. 

 

"Mum's this way, smell that? That's good cookin'." Louis called over his shoulder, walking away with Phoebe in his arms. Harry did smell it. It was the savory scent of pot roast, corn and, what Harry assumed, yams. Harry looked around the hallway, there were pictures hanging up and he couldn't help but notice one of Louis in his graduation gown, a woman, he assumed was Louis' mother, stood next to him with tears in her eyes. 

 

Harry turned away quickly and found himself in the kitchen. He sniffed the air, it smelled absolutely delicious in here. Something sweet filled the air as well and Harry noticed a woman standing over the stove, pulling out what looked like a chocolate pie. Harry's stomach growled and that made the woman turn around. She was beautiful with her light brown hair and glimmering eyes, and her laugh was full and loud. "Hungry, Love?" 

 

Harry nodded, making the woman laugh louder. "Well, come in, sit down, I'll dish you up before anyone else comes in. Large family we have here, so meals tend to be eaten quickly. I'm Jay, by the way." 

 

 _I'm a complete stranger, yet she's feeding me_. Harry blinked. _Then again, Louis could have said I was coming over._

 

"So, tell me, how was your day?" 

 

No one has asked that to him in what felt like forever. "Erm, okay."

 

"Anything exciting?" She continued, bringing over the roast, setting it in the middle, while stirring the mashed potatoes. Should I help her? Harry felt embarrassed sitting and doing nothing, but then again, wasn't he a guest? "Oh, nothing exciting really, just paperwork." 

 

"Anything is exciting as long as you're alive, my dear. A lot of people don't get of have such privileges." She smiled, kindly. "Roast?" 

 

"Thank you." Harry smiled. This woman was very kind, her approach was nothing but motherly and caring. There were a round of giggles and feet rushing to the kitchen before Harry could stand up, eight sets of bright blue eyes blinked at him. All of them reminding him of Louis. 

 

"Girls, this is Dr. Styles. He'll be having dinner with us." Jay smiled. "These are my girls, Charlotte, Felicitie, Daisy and Phoebe." 

 

"You've got one more girl, _Louise._ " Charlotte giggled. Jay crossed her arms, glaring at her blonde child. "That is enough right there, young lady!"  

 

"Louise?" a voice comes in the room and Harry is stunned. It seems Louis had changed his outfit to a white turtle neck sweater, black skinny jeans and. . . . _Red-striped socks?_ Harry gives a tiny smirk. Louis looks. . . cute. 

 

"Hmmm?" Louis looks to be deep in thought. "Louise eh? Nice, I'll use it. It'll be my stripper name." 

 

"Louis!" His mother's stern voice turned to him. 

 

"What? Louise Tomlin _daughter_ \- once famed Memory Suppressor, now dancer." Louis giggled. Jay huffed, "Well, thank god you don't have to live that life, Dr. Styles here has given you a job. How kind of him." Her anger gone and a sweet smile directed to Harry. 

 

"Oh, Mum. . . "Louis gave a sad smile. 

 

Harry was in an awkward situation. Everyone was looking at him as if he was a savior, and he might be. Looking around, the house wasn't _bad_ ; but it had seen better days. He hadn't seen a man around yet, so it was safe to assume that Jay was single, so being a mother of four daughters had to be hard, especially with Louis away at college. 

 

"I'm not really-" Louis went to say, but Harry cut him off. "Louis is improving, keep it up and I might have him full time; granted once he graduates." 

 

Jay held her hand over her open smile and Louis looked confused.

 

"I see great potential in Louis." Harry smiled kindly. Louis blushed a light pink before everyone sat at the table to eat. Dinner was even better than it smelled. Seasoned and cooked to perfection. Harry ate everything, even dessert. "So, Louis, what do you do all day with Dr. Styles?" Feclicitie asked. 

 

"I do paperwork, mostly. A few days ago, I got to see a Suppression." Louis smiled.

 

"Really? What happened?" Daisy asked.

 

"Girls." Jay warned. "Let's not pester the boys about work, Harry, anything planned for the holidays?" Harry didn't know how to answer that. He didn't have any plans for Christmas. His last Christmases hadn't been special, mostly him at home relaxing, maybe calling Gemma or rushing to do a few pop-fly holiday Memory Erases. 

 

"Eh, nothing at the moment. I don't plan anything really for holidays, work keeps me busy." He half-lied. 

 

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, Louis did tell me you were busy so-" Jay turned to the kitchen cabinet where she pulled out a package. 

 

"Mum!" Louis laughed, but clearly embarrassed. 

 

"Oh, you didn't have to-" Harry felt guilty. The woman looked to be barely getting buy as it was. He didn't want to accept anything if it meant he was taking her money. 

 

"Nonsense, you gave Louis a job. It's the least we could do. Let's go into the living room where you can open it." She smiled. The living room was all lit up for Christmas with  a beautiful tree with silver ornaments hanging up. Harry sat on the couch, Louis next to him and all four girls at their feet. 

 

"What did you get? You're lucky opening presents before Christmas." Charlotte grinned, her braces showing. Harry shrugged, opening the box. Inside, beyond the white wrapping paper, was a picture frame with nothing inside. At first he was confused until a flash entered the room. Jay giggled. "Louis said that you don't have any pictures in your office, so, with your permittion, we'd like to give you some." 

 

Harry looked over at Louis who was avoiding eye-contact. 

 

_It seems Louis talks about me a lot._

 

Still, it was such a kind gesture. Inviting him to dinner, meeting his family, and now giving him picture presents. He feared Louis was falling for him. Harry was afraid, but nevertheless, he'd please these people and let them take pictures with him. It was fun. The girls giggled and Jay was more than bubbly, Louis managed to crack in a few wise-ass remarks that made Harry smirk and Jay roll her eyes, but all in all, it was a wonderful night. 

 

Soon, it was time for Harry to go, but before he left-he had to speak to Louis. 

 

 

"Louis. . . come here, please." He called outside. Louis rushed down the steps, not caring he had no coat on and was shivering. He gave a polite smile to Harry, exposing his teeth. Harry sighed, "Louis. I'm flattered. But no." 

 

Louis stopped rubbing his arms, chuckling. "What? What do you mean by 'No'?"

 

"Louis. . . it's. I don't think you should come back." Harry stated, watching with forest green eyes as Louis' smile faded and his face held dread and fear. "W-what?"

 

"Louis, I'm your teacher. You're just a UNI student. I'm older, very much so-"

 

"Only by a few years!"

 

"Louis. . . .I can't love. I haven't the ability." Harry felt a lump in his throat. Dammit, his emotions were getting the best of him as he watched the boy basically crumble before him. He knew he was Louis' everything; he was sure he was breaking the boy from the inside out, but it had to be done. Harry couldn't get close to ANYONE. . .or. . . it'll happen again.

 

 

_"You're cold, Harry, cold like the snow!"_

 

 

 

"But. . .but I'm learning so much, Dr. Styles. And, I really enjoy working with you-"

 

"And I with you, Louis. I've never met such a dedicated student, but I can't love you back like you love me. And I know you do." Louis' eyes began to produce tears that were as clear as ice sickles. It wasn't like Harry could make Louis NOT love him. Harry wouldn't ask that of the boy. It was cruel. 

 

"I. . .But. . . " Louis was breaking. 

 

"Louis," Harry sighed, "You're one of the best students I've ever had, I guarantee you that, but-"

 

"NO! Why can't you love? Tell me why!" Louis shouted, his arms and cheeks red from the cold. "Because it's impossible to not love, it's a sad and lonely life to live and I don't want you to be that-why can't you love?"

 

Harry can't tell. 

 

He wants to.

 

Oh, god, he wants to love. 

 

But bad things happen when he loves. Things break, and they hurt. Most of all, he's left alone and Harry hates being alone; yet, he shoves Louis away, because he's afraid that if he loves Louis-then God forbid something happens: Louis is gone, and once again, Harry is left to his shattered heart.

 

"I. . . .I. . . " Harry didn't know he was crying until Louis stroked his palm against his cold cheek.

 

"Harry, you're crying. . . "

 

The way Louis said his name: 'Arry, both turned him on and made him was to smile. Harry cries because his soul is crying out, the tears that drip on Louis' soft knuckles are just an added bonus. Harry's jaw is stuck and he sees his breath. The Doctor cries harder and watches Louis stay by his side through the entire thing. "I. . . .I saw you dancing that night. In the snow." Harry admits. "I saw you fall, and I wanted to help. . . .but I was afraid that I'd fall along with you."  

 

Louis smiles softly. "Big klutz, eh?" 

 

"Very, as are you?"

 

"Much so. . . . but Harry, if I fall, I know now you'll be there. And, vice verse. I promise you, Harry, I won't go anywhere. . . .you won't hurt because of me." Louis vowed. "Because, I have loved you since I was eighteen and. . .and. . .I would very much like to watch the snow fall with you next time." 

 

Harry closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Louis'. Could he trust himself to love Louis? Could he possibly, dare he call, forget about everything else? Would he heal with Louis?

 

The Doctor nodded, "Yeah. . . let's do that." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The snow fell around them, dancing in the blustery wind as the couple stood on the sidewalk around the knee deep snow. It was like pieces of heaven flew down to give the two frosty pecks on their exposed skin. It was chilly, cold, and wet. But all in a good way. 

 

The warmth in the snowy night was went their lips pressed against each other for a kiss. Louis' soft, pink against Harry's tight, wet own pair. Louis shivered so Harry broke it off. "Let's get you inside, won't do me any good if my assistant calls in sick after the holidays.

 

The UNI student only smiles, hugging Harry one last time before hurrying into the house. Harry smiled, pulling out the picture frame from Jay. They took at least five photos, he put the single picture of Louis in the frame. 

 

It was to stay there forever, he decided. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _"Is Zayn showing any results?"_ Gemma asked. It was after the holidays and Harry was filling Gemma in with the details. 

 

"Almost. He had a big breakdown, however. Thankfully my assistant caught him."

 

 _"Assistant?"_ Gemma cooed, _"So, the kid grew on you?"_

 

Harry rolled his eyes. "He does a good job. Now, I'm pretty busy-"

 

_"No, no, no. . . I want details. Have you had sex yet?"_

 

"GEMMA!" Harry blushed, he heard his sister crackle at the end of the line and Harry slammed the phone down. His sister can be an _outright pervert_ at times!

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Weeks went by, and Louis and Harry spent it slowly, quietly and lovingly. They'd go for coffee, a movie, or even ice skating. But the best dates, Harry believed, were when he and Louis went to the park and Harry got to see Louis twirl around in the snow. Louis would turn so he'd peak at Harry over his shoulder and if he were to catch his green eyes, he'd flash Harry a smile. 

 

Harry felt himself growing closer to Louis. They'd have lengthy conversations and each day, Harry found himself telling a little bit more about himself to Louis. Harry liked how he could be so pen to Louis, as if he had nothing to hide anymore; Harry hated hiding and he wasn't about to do it while with Louis. 

 

While he watched Louis dance around, Harry would catch Louis' hand, pull him in and hold Louis close to his heart. Louis wouldn't move, he'd close his eyes and smile into Harry's neck, assuring he wouldn't leave. 

 

 

And Harry believed him.

 

 

 

They spent New Years Eve at Louis' after coming out to Jay and the girls that he was dating Harry. Jay didn't mind, of course and the girls were happy to know they'd be seeing more of their brother's boyfriend. They liked Harry, Harry gave them candy and stuffed toys from the gift shop in the hospital. 

 

When it was midnight, they snuck a kiss behind the four girls that insisted they were old enough to stay up at midnight but fell asleep at ten. And that's how they greeted the new year. 

 

 

 

 

It was the middle of January when Harry got a call.

 

"Briana?" Harry asked, looking through his notes. Louis looked up from his paperwork. Harry bit his lip. "Yes, I have her file, she claimed for a later date, did she not?" 

 

Louis was confused. 

 

"She's here now? . . . . Maternity ward? Very well. Send her up when she feels better." Harry hung up the phone and Louis licked his lips.

 

"Who was that? Another Memory Suppression?"

 

"Yeah, today at Five. Can you stay that late?"

 

Louis nodded. "Yeah, curfew is nine on Campus. Who's Memory are you erasing?" Harry took a second look at the file. 

 

_"Briana Jungwirth."_

 

"Does it say what she wants to forget?"

 

"No."

 

"Oh, a surprise."

 

Harry admired Louis' optimism. At four-thirty, Harry and Louis got ready to head up to floor Seventeen. "Louis, this time, I'd like for you to see what happens." Harry said. Louis blinked, "But, I always turn away. I thought it could make me blind."

 

"There is a way you can see, but I didn't want you to do so until I was sure you were ready. I want you to see where all the energy from my hand comes from and the waves that happen. It'll happen very quickly, so please catch a glimpse." Harry smiled, handing Louis a pair of black shades. "These are very special glasses that protect UV rays better than any sunglasses would, my sister invented them."

 

Louis put them on and wiggled his eye brows, making Harry laugh. "Very sexy, now, let's get going."

 

It was five when they arrived to the room, however, something was off, Louis noted, taking off the shades. It was the same dark room, same two pillows but. .  . .Something was different. Louis turned his attention to the patient in the room. Her head was hung low, her long blonde hair covering her face. Louis cocked his head and gasped seeing that Briana was holding a baby in her arms.

 

 

However, this baby had a slightly deformed face. 

 

 

"Oh, how adorable!" Louis gushed, all babies were a belling and beautiful to Louis. "Boy or girl?"   

 

 

Briana didn't answer him and Louis knew it was best to be quiet. 

 

"Ma'am, I'm afraid you'll have to have a nurse hold the baby while we perform this session." Harry said. Quickly, Briana held up the baby, not caring she might have jerked too fast. 

 

 

"With pleasure. . . " She spoke, too happy for Louis' liking. 

 

Louis took the baby, handing it to a nurse. Louis shut the door and made his way to Harry's side. Harry clicked his pen and began to process. "Alright, what would you like to forget today?" 

 

Briana looked up, for as dark as it was in the room, Louis could catch a glimpse of her face, he didn't like her cruel smile. "Isn't it obvious? I want to forget-that!" She pointed to the door. Louis nearly jumped in his seat. What was this woman asking for? 

 

"Excuse me?" Harry asked. 

 

"That. . . abomination. . . I want to forget that _thing!"_ She shouted. Louis' eyes widened. This woman was talking about her baby. This woman wanted to forget her child. 

 

Harry felt sick, but he concealed it. "Very well. I want you to-" He went to raise his hand, but Louis stopped him. 

 

"No, Harry!" Louis cried. 

 

"What? Louis?" 

 

"Don't do it!" 

 

Harry frowned. "Louis, it's not my choice, if this woman-"

 

"But, it's her CHILD Harry, she came from the Maternity ward not too long ago! She just birthed him, Harry!" Louis begged, tears in his eyes. "You can't make her forget her baby, it's her baby!"

 

Briana growled, "Listen you brat, Imagine meeting the person you love, marrying that person and giving them a child, only to hold that child and see it's DEFORMED! Imagine what I'm fucking going through, I birthed a monster! An ugly, pathetic, freak!" 

 

Louis turned, almost snapping his neck. "That's your child! You'll regret it!-"

 

"The only regret I have in this life, is that _creature_ came from my body!" Briana screamed, hysterically. She frightened Louis and Harry jerked his hand away from Louis. 

 

"Harry, no, please!" 

 

Harry was quick with Briana, erasing her memory in almost record time. Louis held his hands to his mouth as he chocked on his sobs. The nurses came in, taking away Briana. Louis could hear the baby's cries not too far away either. Now, that child had no mother. That child was an orphan. Louis cried and he cried. 

 

"How. . . how could you Harry?!" Louis sobbed, his fists in his lap. "Harry. . .that was her CHILD! How could she do that?" The Doctor felt his heart break with each tear that fell from Louis' eyes. This was another reason why Harry didn't want Louis to become a Memory Suppressor: Because people are fucking cruel. 

 

 

Zayn's words came back to Louis: 

 

_"Has Harry ever told you stories about women and men who cheat on their spouses and their lover finds out and BEGS us to help him or her forget that one person? How about family members who want to forget one of their own, be it a mother, a father, a brother, sister or even their own children!  The worst of it all, is they plead to us for mercy. As if it's their dying wish: To forget someone. There is no memory in this world that can ever truly be forgotten, because IT HAPPENED. Just because you can't remember it, doesn't mean it never occurred."_

 

 

Louis finally felt the pain Zayn must have endured while staying here. He couldn't imagine how he, Harry, and every other Memory Suppressor did this for a living. 

 

"Louis. . .. maybe it was for the best." Harry whispered. 

 

Louis hiccuped. "Forgetting one's child? It's her baby!"

 

"Not in her eyes, Love. Maybe she was scared, or maybe she was mentally or emotionally unable to care for her child," Harry sat next to Louis, holding him. "I'm. . . .I'm sorry you had to see that, I didn't think she'd do that." 

 

Louis sniffed, rubbing his irritated eyes. "It's. . . it's okay." 

 

"Do you still want to be a Suppressor?" Harry's voice was shaky, "Even. . . after all I did?" Louis' head snapped up and he remembered his words. 

 

"Oh, Harry, I didn't mean to sound as if I blamed you. I just. . .I can't believe there are people out there like that." The UNI student wanted to cry more and Harry left him, holding him till the sniffles were reduced. 

 

"Let's get out of here." Harry murmured, helping Louis to his feet. "How about I take the rest of the day off? We could watch the snow again." Louis  nodded but didn't look too eager and that worried Harry. He feared he scarred the boy for life. Just a she promised, though, Harry had canceled meetings and if anyone were to need a Suppression, they'd have to wait until tomorrow. 

 

Harry and Louis walked hand-in-hand to the park. Daylight was dimming and night would soon be approaching. The last flurries of the afternoon were around them. Soon, Louis was smiling again and that assured Harry that all would be well. Harry couldn't believe how easy it was to fall for Louis, every day he fell deeper for the boy. 

 

"Louis, are you cold?" He asked.

 

Louis shook his head. "I'm fine." The UNI student bit his lip. "Um, Harry, there's something I have to ask you." Louis blushed, not making eye-contact with The Doctor. Harry frowned. "What is it?"

 

". . . .Well, do you want me to be a Memory Suppressor? You seem very much against the idea." 

 

Why was Louis asking for his approval? The Doctor was confused. Of course Louis might want some approval, but did it really bother the boy that bad if Harry would be 100% against this? "I. . .I. . " Truth be told, Harry didn't want Louis to interact with such horrible people. He didn't want Louis to hear the aches, cries and pitiful screams of those who wanted to forget other humans they were supposed to forgive and love. 

 

"I don't want. . . I don't-" Harry couldn't find the words to tell Louis how he felt. Louis waited patiently. "I don't want you to. . . experience that again." The whole "Briana thing" was downright awful. The girl made Louis cry. He hated Briana and her revolting choice of wanting to forget her child. 

 

 _However, this is not the profession to put your feelings up against. You just can't. You will not survive. That's how Memory Suppressors go mad._ Harry knew all too well. 

 

"I don't want you to cry again, Louis." Harry admitted, his voice hitched. "Please don't cry again." Harry knew that bringing Louis into his line of work made him cry that day; Harry didn't know what's he'd do if he made Louis cry. The UNI Student blinked tears away. 

 

"I'm not crying, Harry, see? I'm fine. I'm happy." Louis looked down at Harry's quivering, glove-less hands and held them. "Harry, you're cold."

 

 

Louis was wrong. How could the student not know Harry didn't feel frosty from the windy snow at all? Though his hands may be bitter, his heart sure wasn't. "Louis. . . I haven't felt this warm in _years_." The Doctor admitted.

 

 

Harry can openly admit, his time with being with Louis has more than softened him. Louis brought a sense of comfort into his life he didn't know he was capable-or even _worthy_ , of having.  For so long, Harry had known he was cold, cold as the snow that fell from a black midnight sky. Never, in so long, had he dreamed of even having someone be so kind, so different and so beautiful warm his chilly life. 

 

 

Louis' vibrant orbs turned half-lidded and his lips slightly puckered. "You're warm? Really? Even in this snow?" 

 

In the rain, the snow, the dark. "Baby, stay with me, and I will be warm."

 

 

And the Student did. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I want to marry Louis, once he graduates UNI." Harry stated. 

 

Gemma burst out laughing. _"What? Are you crazy? You've known each other for what? a few weeks? Give it some time, Hazza'"_

 

"You know how I feel about him, I want him in my life forever." Harry turned to the photograph of Louis, taking it in his hand and smiling. He loved to trace the jawline with his finger, make believing he was touching he boy rather a piece of glass. 

 

 _"Oh, okay. Sure, lemmie just fly from London and plan a wedding for you-Are you insane? You're a world renowned Memory Suppressor, you can't marry. It'll interfere with your work."_ Gemma warned. It wasn't that Memory Suppressors were not allowed marriage, but many who have married, or settled down with children, all changed and fell out of practice, a lot of them even Suppressing their own memories. 

 

Because once you marry, or have a child, your thought process changes. _You change._

 

"I don't care, I want to be with Louis. I understand I still have a lot to overcome, but with Louis, I feel stronger as a person. I feel: warm." 

 

Gemma wasn't stupid. Even she could tell over the phone how comforting and softer her brother's voice had become, so maybe, perhaps, his actions have too? She wanted to feel nothing but happiness for her brother, she really did. But if something were to happen that would cause a strain in the relationship-

 

 _"No. I'm sorry, Harry. But as your older sister, I won't give you permission to Marry that boy."_ She put her foot down. _"And for marriage you'll need permittion from the head of the house; do you honestly think that Mum would let you do this?"_

 

Harry felt his jaw twitch. "I'm a grown ass man, I don't need your or Mum's permission to do as I please." With that, he slammed the phone and hung up on her. 

 

Harry wanted happiness, Louis was the source to that happiness, so if it's Louis he wants, Louis he will get. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 "I want to take you to London." Harry spoke one day to Louis. It was a blustery day outside, the snow had caused white-outs and the Doctor and his assistant stayed behind not only to wait out the storm, but to snuggle on Harry's office couch. Louis, wrapped in a spare blanket blinked up with aqua-blue eyes. 

 

"Why?" 

 

Harry, suddenly very nervous with excitement leaned in closely. "Louis," his breath was quick and almost unheard. "I. . . I am rather very fond of you." 

 

"Like you too, Harry." Louis blushed, smiling. "Harold Edmund Steerrrls."

 

 

"Lewis Willison Tumlinsun." Harry teased back. "And, as rushed as this seems. I want to spend a lot of time with you."

 

Harry scooted as humanly possible as he could to the boy, his arms tightening around the smaller boy's frame. Harry kissed the boy's hairline, his brow, and his eyelids. The Doctor traced his large thumb across the boy's cheekbones, admiring everything about the Student.

 

"I want to marry you some day." Harry admitted.

 

Louis' breath hitched. "W. . .what?" Harry didn't know if he liked seeing how wide Louis' eyes had gotten; it was just like that time he witnessed Briana's Suppression. "Marry me? But, Harry. Suppressors can't marry, it's highly frowned upon, almost taboo, in some places it's illegal-" 

 

"I'll sign my rights over!" Harry insisted, holding Louis closer. "Louis, I. . I love you." The UNI student knew this. He knew how much The Doctor cared for him, but something was off. He wasn't labeling Harry as desperate, but the way the man held him, like a rope on an anchor, made him wonder why Harry was insisting upon marriage. 

 

"Do you not want to?" Harry asked, his heart stopping. If Louis rejected him. . . He gulped. 

 

 

"Of course I want to, Harry, yes, I do." Louis nodded, "I'd marry you Harry, because it rhymes, but also. . . I mean, a part of me doesn't want to because you're needed here, Harry. You have patients and-"

 

"I don't care." Harry growled. "They can learn to live with their memories, good or bad."

 

"But, Harry!" Louis moved away, sitting up. "What about your profession? You've worked years to gain recognition and respect, all to throw it away for. . .for someone like me?" The UNI student lowered his head, "I would hate myself if you lost all of that because of me." 

 

"Because of you? Whatever are you talking about?" Harry whispered, frowning. "It wouldn't be 'because of you' it would be more on my part, because what am I stepping away from? Fame? Recognition? A Legacy? No." Harry cupped the smaller boy's face, lowering his own head closer so their noses were touching. "If I left you, however, I'd be leaving behind something beautiful and that would be utter stupidity." 

 

Louis closed his eyes, feeling Harry plant tiny kisses on his cheeks, on his nose and right in the corners of his mouth. 

 

"I don't want to do this anymore," Harry held back a cry, resting his head in the nook of Louis' shoulder and neck. "I don't want to be alone, or cold. . . any longer." 

 

Louis figured this was the best time to confess. 

 

"Harry, there's something I must tell you." The UNI Student stroked the long hairs on Harry's head, "I. . . .I was fascinated by Memory Suppression. But I never wanted to fulfill such a task." Harry frowned, confused. "There was an award at school: anyone who aced the medical exam would win a chance at working along side you. I studied for days, almost weeks. I'm sorry I lied to you, Harry. I was so infatuated by you." 

 

Louis began crying.

 

"But then, I got to know you more, and I feel deeper and deeper for you and I was scared to tell you the truth. I'm not at all very interested in becoming a Suppressor, although I made it sound like I was, I just wanted to meet you." The UNI Student felt pathetic, he knew he technically lied to Harry, making him believe that he wanted to some day do what Harry did in the future, but no, those were all lies.

 

"Louis. . . " Harry breathed. "It's okay. It's okay."

 

"No it's not, I lied!"

 

"But, you're honest with me when you tell me that you love me, right? That you want to be with me? That snow turns to spring?" 

 

Louis nodded and Harry stroked a few hairs back from the boy's face, he wanted to see his blue eyes. "Then what does it matter? I am not hurt. Not with you." If Louis would have admitted this earlier, Harry knew he'd be angry. But for some reason, he couldn't fathom the thought on being angry with Louis right now. Maybe he was blind sighted by his feelings of affection towards the younger boy, either way, he didn't care.

 

 

"I love you, Louis Tomlinson. . . ."

 

 

"I love you more, Dr. Styles." Louis giggled, holding onto the man tightly. Louis happened to catch a glimpse out of the window.

 

 

"Harry, the snow stopped." 

 

 

Now the Doctor understood Louis' question: "Do you remember what happens each time the snow melts?"  It was all so clear. 

 

 

 

Louis was the Spring, that had come to end the Winter, that had trapped Harry.

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

"What time are we leaving?" Louis asked, softly.

 

 

"Tomorrow, be ready. We'll leave in the early morning." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Memory Suppressors are prized human beings. To have one's heart, would be as desirable as a teenage dream. However, Memory Suppressors are known to be more fragile than a swan's feather. If their loved one were to die, cheat, or leave without an answer would cause deep depression and even drive the Memory Suppressor to try and rid of their own memories. 

 

 

Zayn Malik was the prime example. 

 

 

 

 

 

Zayn starred out the hospital window, his heart aching. It was on the colder nights did he long for her warm body next to his. He remembered nights like this. If he was lucky and arrived home on time, she'd be waiting for him, laying out on their bed, her eyes half-lidded and her mind sleepy. 

 

He'd crawl next to her, rub her hips and place tiny butterfly kisses along her neck. 

 

His eyes stung and he had trouble breathing at the memory. He missed her so much, goddammit!  

 

 

He had told Louis that there is no memory worth forgetting, because it happened and nothing can change that. However, he didn't know if he could live up to his own words. "I'm a poser." Zayn's voice cracked, tears falling from his cheeks. Zayn had been strong for far too long and before his own conscious could stop himself to second guess his actions, he lifted his shaking hand towards his face, his last words before Suppressing his own memories were: 

 

"I'm sorry, Louis. . . Perrie." 

 

 

And he was out. 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Gemma heard the news, she was livid. 

 

"He was supposed to be watching him!" She hissed, stomping towards her office. It was unprofessional, but she didn't care. Quickly, she began to change out of her clothes. Having received a call this morning on Dr. Malik's own Suppression, she was, for a lack of a better word, furious. 

 

 

Harry hadn't been seen anywhere in the hospital, neither was Louis. 

 

"Dammit, that stupid boy!" Gemma had to hurry. She knew Harry was going to The Head of the Styles House, if she knew her brother, than he'd have left early this morning to avoid the horrible weather coming in later tonight. "Lawrence, start my car!" Gemma demanded over her phone. 

 

She had to beat Harry to the house. 

 

 

Not for her younger brother's sake, but for Louis' as well. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Where are we going?" Louis asked, sitting in the front seat of the black car. Harry licked his lips. "London." He replied. "I need to ask for permission before wedding you. As you know, I can't just elope, it can be seen as illegal."

 

"But. . . .they'll say yes, right?" Louis hoped. Harry turned an held Louis' hand, smiling. "Of course."

 

"If not?"

 

Harry had a plan for that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They arrived at the main house. Harry's childhood home. Louis looked around. It was large, very dark and almost sad. Louis was very quiet and held Harry's hand while they entered the main building.

 

"Mr. Styles, we-we didn't think you'd show up unannounced-!" someone standing by the door had looked very surprised to see Harry and that almost worried Louis. Harry ignored them, "Send word to my mother that I'm here. Don't keep her from me."

 

"M-mother?" Louis whispered, looking around the large entry way. Louis felt really small being inside this house. He looked around for any pictures of a happy family, but found none. In fact, there were no pictures at all, just dark walls and the occasional lamp to give this room some light. "Harry?" Louis asked. 

 

Harry turned. 

 

"Why are we talking to your mother?" 

 

Harry didn't answer as the sound of footsteps rushing towards them came to ear shot. "She's ready to see you, Dr. Styles." A maid answered. Harry nodded, holding Louis' hand and led him up the stairs to meet his mother. _Hopefully,_ Harry told himself, _this would be the only time Louis met her._

 

 

Louis and Harry were brought to a set of large, heavy, black double doors that made a loud creek when opened. Laying on her side, facing the wall was a woman dresse in a long, silk robe. Louis didn't see her fully. Looking around the room, he gulped, it was identical to The Suppression Room on floor 17 at the hospital. 

 

 

Louis and Harry sat on pillows on the floor in front of the leather sofa. The woman hadn't turned around, as if their presence was either ignored or uncared by the woman before them. 

 

 

 

"Why are you here?" a soft voice asked, cutting Harry like a knife. Louis held his breath. 

 

 

"I'm here to tell you something." Harry answered. 

 

 

"Will it waste my time, much like everything else you've done to me?" The woman asked, her back still facing them. "Because if so, that's a cowardly way of getting back at me." 

 

 _Getting back?_ Louis cocked his eyebrow. 

 

 

"Says you who won't even look at me." Harry snapped. Louis wanted to leave. He was getting antsy and scared, even more so when the woman did turn. Lord, she was beautiful, she looked just like Harry too with her jaw-line, dark hair and even her eyes. 

 

 

Anne Cox, Harry Style's mother, sneered. 

 

 

"Who's this?" 

 

 

"That is Louis, you won't speak to him like that." Harry warned. 

 

 

Anne snickered, "Don't tell me you've come to ask for permission? Someone like you thinks they're granted a privilege such as love?" 

 

Harry ignored her words, "I'm not asking, I'm telling." Anne stopped laughing and glared at her son, her arms, folded. "I am retiring from my position as Memory Suppressor. I will no longer do an practice, operations or have anything to do with Memory Suppression. I'm done." 

 

 

 

Louis licked his lips as Anne slowly cocked her head, giving her son a dull look. Anne's eyes caught glimpse of the vase next to her couch and with one quick movement, she yanked it, chucking it towards her son and hitting him directly in the eye. "HARRY!" Louis screamed as Harry hunched over, blood was everywhere, on his hand, his shirt and dripping to the floor. Louis was speechless. 

 

 

"Look what _you've done!"_ Anne growled, catching Louis' attention. "This is _your fault!"_

 

 

Louis shivered where he sat, turning to Harry slowly, watching his lover bleed. Louis was pale, short of breath and frightened. However, what began to wash over him, was guilt. Anne's words continued to poison Louis as the UNI Student watched the Doctor bleed in agony. 

 

 

 _"If you never existed, Harry wouldn't bleed right now! If He goes blind, it will be all your fault,_ **_all of this is your fault!"_ **

 

 

 

"Anne!" a voice screamed from the door way, in came Gemma running with others behind her Louis couldn't make out. Louis was drowning in Anne's vicious words. 

 

 

 

**_"This is your fault, all of this is because of you!"_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Louis believed her. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 It had been three days since the incident and Louis has had more than fifteen breakdowns. His heart was weighing a heavy burdon and it was killing the Student, but inside and out. During this time, Louis had not eaten and it scarred Gemma and Harry. 

 

On her strict orders, Gemma warded Louis' room, not allowing anyone, not even Harry to enter. 

 

 

Gemma was angry herself almost as much as she was angry at Harry right now. She had tended to his wounds, wrapping a bandage around his hurt eye, tying it around his head. "What in the fuck were you thinking?" She hissed. Her brother laid on a spare bed, looking dazed, as if he were lost in his own thoughts. 

 

"Coming here with him, what did you have to gain? Her approval? Mine?" Gemma shouted. "You knew she would do something, _anything_ to make you miserable, why in the fuck did you come back?!" 

 

 

Harry opened his mouth, but he didn't answer her question. ". . . .Tell me he doesn't believe her words. Tell me he's okay." 

 

 

Gemma's face softened. She had gotten only a tasteful of how much her brother loved Louis, and it was enough to almost set her off. ". . . .Louis is ill, Harry. Mentally." 

 

 

Harry sat up, quickly. "Let me go to him, please! I can help him-" 

 

 

"Harry. . . I'm going to erase his memories." Gemma stated boldly. Harry gasped. "No!-please, don't!" 

 

 

"What other choice do I have, Harry? That boy is mentally broken now! Tell me what in God's name did you bring him here for?" Gemma hissed. 

 

 

Harry was silent for a long time, but Gemma waited. "Because, Anne is the only one who can write me off. She's the head of our household, **_I have_** to go to her for permission to marry. Dammit, Gemma. I'm tired of being alone!" 

 

 

Gemma held her brother, like so many times before. Gemma knew exactly what Harry was talking about. She too wanted marriage, children and a happy life; but Anne would never let her children be happy. And it was Illegal being married to a Memory Suppressor in London. 

 

 

 

"I'm erasing the boy's memories tonight. . . . you are able to say goodbye if you wish," She promised. ". . . I'm so sorry, Harry." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Harry stood in front of the door where Gemma said Louis was resting in. Harry felt his hands go clammy and his left side of his face where his mother threw the vase began throbbing. The back of his throat became dry and hearing the audible sobs behind the door made him weak. He went to open the door when a voice stopped him. 

 

"You've accomplished nothing but resentment, and vanished feeling, yet again." Anne muttered, leaning against the hallway. Her eyes dull towards her son and her face decorated with make-up to make her even more beautiful in the moonlight. But she was far from pretty. 

 

Anne slowly strolled over to her son. "Erase the boy's memories. If you truly loved him that is, you'd make him forget." She whispered, her eyes a luminous innocent, but her words like a snake's tongue. "Prove to me that you aren't a coward like your father." Anne smirked. 

 

 

 

Harry's jaw trembled. 

 

 

 

 

_"Harry. . . .Hazza. . . .You're going to play a little game with Daddy. You're going to place your hand on my face and give it a squeeze. Then, Daddy is going to fall on the floor. Daddy is going to forget you after that, but won't that be funny, Harry? Seeing Daddy fall to the floor. . ."_

 

 

 

The poor boy was only ten. 

 

 

 

Anne softly chuckled. "I was never wrong, Harry, you are cold." 

 

 

 

Anne strolled away, her evening gown flowing behind her as Harry gently opened the door. He was given the sad sight of Louis bawling his eyes out in the dark room. The Japanese styled windows were shut behind him, giving the room a more blueish glow. Louis' clothes hung off him a bit as he hunched on the ground on his knees crying. Harry saw how thin, hoiw pale and restless the boy was. Louis looked sick.

 

No matter what Harry did or said, Louis wouldn't even look at him. "L-Louis?" Harry was neer tears himself as he cupped the boy's cheeks, "Please. . . please open your eyes. Look at me, darling, love?" Louis sputtered and eventually opened his one eye lid but shut it immediately, sobbing harder seeing Harry's half-bandaged face. 

 

"Please, Louis, it's not your fault, please, please stop crying, my dear." Harry was begging at this point. He didn't want to see Louis crying anymore, it was like a heavy weight on his shoulder, heart and his own sanity. "Please, please, baby, don't cry. Please." 

 

 

But his words were useless. 

 

 

He was not going to have Gemma erase Louis' memories. He was going to do it himself. Gingerly, he grasped the boy's forehead, covering his eyes. "My Louis. I wanted to love you so much more, I wanted to live with you so much longer, Louis. Please, please don't blame yourself." Harry whispered as Louis' cries began to cease. Harry had a glimmer of hope run through his blood before Louis spoke. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm. . . .I'm sorry, Harry," Louis choked. "I. . . I couldn't. . . protect you." 

 

 

 

Harry couldn't stand to hear him cry any longer. He just wanted Louis to stop the silver tears that should have never existed within those beautiful blue eyes. Harry lowered his head as he gave a small squeeze. There was a flash of light and Louis' body fell limp until Louis landed on his back, his face tear-stained and softer, he was sleeping soundly. 

 

 

 

No. . . .you don't have to suffer anymore, Louis. Harry shed tears of his own, watching the boy lay before him. You don't have to cry on my behalf any longer. 

 

 

Slowly Harry raised his hand against his own face. 

 

 

 

 

"You. . .you don't have to cry, Louis." Harry whimpered. "Don't have to hurt any more." 

 

 

 

Harry never wanted to see Louis tortured like that ever again, and he wouldn't have to. Because in a split second, his memory of Louis and how to Suppress Memories soon faded and he fell to the floor, laying next to the other unconscious boy, their hands intertwined. 

 

 

 

Finally, they were at peace together, unbeknownst to them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Present Day**

 

Harry Styles, a medical assistant to his sister's private hospital was walking in the park one day. He liked to take the short cut, because the scenery was beautiful in late November. Harry smiled as all the crystal snowflakes fell to the ground, but what caught his eye was a boy, he looked to be about twenty, dancing in circle, reaching for the sky. 

 

 

Harry smiled to himself, approaching the boy. "Hello." 

 

His suspicions were correct, this fellow was a UNI student. The Boy blushed, embarrassed he had been seen, he was sure the park was empty. "I-uh, yes. I was." 

 

"You did so beautifully." 

 

 

"Thank you." 

 

 

They stood in silence before biding each other goodbye. Harry stopped walking. The boy's voice had triggered a question running through his head:  _"Do you remember what happens each time the snow melts?"_ Harry called for the boy to come back to him and the boy paused, blinking his bright blue eyes. 

 

 

"Funny question, please don't think I'm mad, but: Do you know what happens when snow melts?" 

 

 

The boy thought for a moment. 

 

 

"Sorry, it's just," Harry began, "I think someone told me this a long time ago, and I can't rembem-"

 

 

"It becomes Spring." The boy simply answered, smiling. 

 

 

 

_Spring. . . .Spring. . . Spring. . ._

 

 

Harry chuckled. "That it is. I'm sorry to keep you." 

 

 

"No problem for me, I just hope I haven't kept my Mother waiting, she's at home with my sisters. I have four of them." The boy chuckled. 

 

 

"Four? I can't handle one." 

 

The Student and Harry laughed, then when about their way, parting from each other never to see one another again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But cry not dear reader, because Harry and Louis loved each other, and why should that be a reason to shed tears? Just because you forgot about a memory, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Because it did, whether it was good or bad is irrelevant. You were lucky enough to experience it; which is more than what some people get in this lifetime. 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
